The course for the ones who keep showing up

You can't do their recovery for them. But what you do still matters more than anyone told you.

Change the Pattern is a self-paced course for the family and loved ones of someone struggling with addiction โ€” built with six experts to give you the tools, the words, and the plan that families are almost never handed.

Start the course today โ†’

$99 launch price ยท Lifetime access ยท 30-day money-back guarantee

You've tried everything. It still feels like it's slipping away.

You've talked. You've pleaded. You've stayed up waiting for the door, the call, the text that says they're okay. You've researched treatment at 2 a.m. and rehearsed conversations that never went the way you planned. You've been patient, and then you've lost your patience, and then you've hated yourself for losing it.

Maybe you've given money you said you'd never give again. Maybe you've drawn a line and then watched yourself step right over it. Maybe the person you love looks at you like you're the problem โ€” and some quiet part of you has started to wonder if they're right.

You are exhausted in a way that's hard to explain to people who haven't lived it. And underneath the exhaustion is a fear you don't say out loud.

Here's what no one tells you: the reason none of it has worked isn't that you haven't tried hard enough. It's that you were never taught how. Loving someone through addiction is one of the hardest things a person can do, and almost everyone does it with no map, running on instinct and fear. That's not a personal failing. It's a missing education.

Two things are true at once.

The hard truth

You cannot do recovery for them โ€” not with enough love, enough money, enough research, or enough sacrifice. If it could be done from the outside, you would have done it already.

The truth that changes everything

You are not powerless. The way you communicate, the boundaries you hold and actually keep, the way you respond to a relapse, the way you care for yourself instead of disappearing into their crisis โ€” all of it shapes the world your loved one is recovering inside of. That's where your power is: not in controlling them, but in changing the pattern you're part of.

This course is about finding that power and learning to use it well โ€” so you stop pouring everything you have into the things that don't help, and start putting it into the things that do.

Start the course today โ†’

Introducing

Change the Pattern

A self-paced online course for the people who love someone struggling with addiction โ€” parents, partners, siblings, adult children, and friends. It's not therapy, and it's not treatment for your loved one. It's the practical education and structure that families almost never get.

Inside, you'll learn:

  • โœ“ How addiction actually works
  • โœ“ What to say โ€” and what to stop saying
  • โœ“ Where support ends and enabling begins
  • โœ“ What the treatment options really mean
  • โœ“ How to prepare for relapse before it happens
  • โœ“ How to care for yourself through all of it

You move at your own pace, one module at a time, in short lessons you can watch even on an empty tank. And you don't just learn โ€” you build. Alongside the course you'll complete the Recovery Road Map, a guided workbook that turns everything into one personalized plan: for your loved one, and for you.

It was built with six experts, so you're not getting one person's opinion โ€” you're getting the range of wisdom this actually takes.

Start the course today โ†’

Is this you?

Is this right for you?

This is for you ifโ€ฆ

  • โœ“ You love someone whose drinking or drug use is hurting them โ€” and you.
  • โœ“ You feel like you're either doing too much or about to give up, with nothing in between.
  • โœ“ Your loved one won't admit there's a problem โ€” or admits it and won't change.
  • โœ“ You've lost yourself somewhere in their addiction and barely remember your own life.
  • โœ“ You want to help in a way that actually helps, instead of guessing.

It's probably not for you ifโ€ฆ

  • โœ• You're looking for a way to force or trick your loved one into recovery. This is about your part, not about controlling theirs.
  • โœ• You want a guarantee they'll get sober. No honest course can promise that โ€” and this one won't.

If those first five sound like you, you're exactly who this was built for.

Start the course today โ†’

Eight modules. One plan that's actually yours.

By the end, you won't have a folder of notes โ€” you'll have a finished Recovery Road Map: a personalized plan for your loved one and for you, built one piece at a time.

1

Understanding Addiction

Get an honest, clear picture of what you're actually dealing with โ€” so you stop fighting the wrong battle.

2

The Family Disease & Doing Your Own Work

Name your own goals, separate from your loved one's recovery, and see why your healing changes the whole system.

3

Communication, Anger & Rage

Walk away with a communication plan you can actually use โ€” including words for the hardest conversations.

4

Boundaries vs. Enabling

Write three to five real boundaries, each with a consequence you can hold โ€” the difference between a boundary and a wish.

5

Treatment Options & Levels of Care

Understand the treatment paths that fit your loved one, so you know what to ask for when the moment comes.

6

Having the Conversation: Intervening with Love

Build your conversation script โ€” and a backup plan for if they say no.

7

Relapse, Regression & Staying the Course

Create your relapse response plan now, with a clear head, so panic doesn't make the decision later.

8

Building a Sustainable Recovery Road Map

Assemble the whole plan and design a life worth living โ€” for them, and for you.

The Recovery Road Map workbook

What you'll build

You won't just watch. You'll build your plan.

Running through every module is the Recovery Road Map โ€” a guided, fillable workbook with nine sections that turn what you learn into something you can hold and use:

  • โœ“ Your communication plan
  • โœ“ Your written boundaries
  • โœ“ Treatment options that fit
  • โœ“ Your conversation script
  • โœ“ Your relapse response plan
  • โœ“ Your own goals, separate from theirs

Most families carry all of this in their head, in fragments, under stress. The Road Map gets it out of your head and onto the page โ€” one clear plan you can return to on the hard days, when thinking straight is the last thing you're able to do.

Start the course today โ†’

Built alongside six experts

Decades of frontline experience, in one course.

You're not getting one opinion. You're getting clinicians, authors, and people who've lived it โ€” each teaching the part they know best.

Becky Babb

Becky Babb

Treatment Executive and Admissions Expert

John Lee

John Lee

Best Selling Author

Briana Sefcik

Briana Sefcik

Trauma and Family Therapist

Alicia Scott

Alicia Scott

Addiction Expert, Mother In Recovery

Corbin Bigheart

Corbin Bigheart

Behavioral Healthcare Executive

Ryan Soave

Ryan Soave

Clinical Thought Leader

Michael Smeltzer, founder of Change the Pattern
Michael Smeltzer Founder and CEO

From the founder

Why I built this

I'm Michael. Before this was a course, it was my life. I've spent more than a decade in recovery myself, and more than a decade working inside behavioral healthcare โ€” which means I've sat on both sides of this: the person struggling, and the people around them trying everything they could think of to help. While working as an executive at addiction and alcoholism treatment centers, I watched it again and again โ€” family members who didn't understand the process, who did things that quietly made it harder for their person to get well, who were doing everything out of love and still getting it wrong, because no one had ever shown them how.

That's the gap this course exists to close. Not to replace the work your loved one has to do, but to give you โ€” the one who keeps showing up โ€” the understanding, the tools, and the plan that I wish every family had been handed on day one. I built it with six people I trust, because no single voice has all of it. And I built it for the version of you that's tired, and scared, and still here. Still trying. That's not nothing. That's everything.

Michael Smeltzer
MBA ยท 10+ years in recovery ยท 10+ years in behavioral healthcare

One course. Lifetime access.

For less than the cost of a single therapy session, you get the full course, all six experts, and the complete Recovery Road Map โ€” and you keep it for life.

Launch price
$129 $99

One-time payment ยท Lifetime access

  • โœ“ All 8 modules, plus a welcome orientation
  • โœ“ Every lesson from all 6 experts
  • โœ“ The full Recovery Road Map workbook
  • โœ“ Every future update, free
Start the course โ€” $99 โ†’

30-day money-back guarantee ยท you're in within minutes

MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE ★ ★ 30 DAYS

Try it for 30 days, risk-free.

I don't want anyone paying for something that isn't right for them. Go through the course. Start building your Road Map. If within 30 days you don't feel it's giving you what you need, email and I'll refund you in full. No forms, no hoops, no hard feelings.

The only thing I ask is that you actually try it. This works for the people who do the work โ€” and the work starts with you.

โ€” Michael

Questions

Questions people ask most.

Is this therapy or treatment?+
No. Change the Pattern is education and structure for you โ€” the person supporting someone in addiction. It isn't therapy for you, and it isn't treatment for your loved one. Many people go through it alongside their own counseling or a support group; it's built to complement that, not replace it.
My loved one won't admit there's a problem, or won't get help. Is this still for me?+
Yes. This course is about your part โ€” how you communicate, where your boundaries are, how you respond โ€” none of which requires your loved one's permission or participation. Changing what you do is often what shifts things when nothing else has.
Will this make my loved one get sober?+
I won't promise that โ€” no honest course can, and anyone who does is selling you something. What this gives you is the best chance to support recovery instead of accidentally working against it, plus a clear plan you can hold to. The rest is theirs to do.
How does the course work?+
It's fully online and self-paced. You log in, watch the lessons in order (or jump to what you need), and fill in your Recovery Road Map as you go. Watch on your computer or your phone, whenever you have a few minutes.
How long do I have access?+
For life. You pay once and keep the course and the workbook โ€” including any future updates โ€” for as long as it exists. Come back to it whenever you need it.
How much time does it take?+
As much or as little as you have. The lessons are short and focused, so you can do one at a time even on an empty tank. Nothing expires and there's no deadline โ€” many people move through about a module a week.
Is it just videos?+
No โ€” and that's the point. The expert lessons are paired with the Recovery Road Map, a fillable workbook that turns what you learn into your own written plan: your boundaries, your communication, your relapse response. You finish with something you can use, not just notes.
What if it's not right for me?+
Then you get your money back. You have 30 days โ€” go through it, start your Road Map, and if it isn't giving you what you need, email [email protected] for a full refund. No forms, no hard feelings.

You've read this far for a reason.

You can't do their recovery for them โ€” but what you do still matters more than anyone told you. Stop guessing, stop pouring yourself into the things that don't help, and start building the plan that actually works. You can begin today.

Start the course โ€” $99 โ†’

$99 launch price ยท Lifetime access ยท 30-day money-back guarantee